Last week I met A., F., A., W., and T. from the research group. Most of the researchers share very different concerns. They might all be related in some form or another to the notion of organization or management. I am given the impression that the group is rather fragmented but this could also be its inner strength. Most of the conversations I had were held in the office. It is a constrained space. One of the lecturers asked me if I would like to go for a walk. It was a sunny day. We sat by the water in the sun and talked for an hour. At some point a couple came by and stood with their bikes.
This week I managed to relax a bit and let it go. There might be no point to try to change a huge, layered organization. What is it? Its size? Is it the different perspectives that come into play? I feel overwhelmed by emails and hierarchical structures. I guess they are also part of my regular job as an artist but here I feel them even more. Sisyphus comes to my mind, especially when taking the train.
Everyone is willing to engage in a conversation. I met someone working in Human Resources and she suggested that I go and meet some students. Shall I? Every time I get into the elevator I smell the odour of hormones coming out. That smell is the only smell I can encounter in this place. The smell of potentially unlimited hormones, whether natural or artificial, willing, craving for, being ready to burst out.
I was having lunch with C. who came to film at the university. A student came by and asked us to fill in some surveys. She needed us to complete a form about air fresheners. I had never heard that word before. I thought an air freshener was a vaporizer. She gave us the questionnaire. She never read the questions herself. Then we went out and approached a student. I asked for a cigarette. We started talking with him. We chatted for a short while. He told us he studies International Business studies. He talked about housing. He said he would like to leave and live elsewhere. Then he went inside.